i am sad and little and vulnerable and lonely and every body is mean to me i
dont know why my foster parents dont like me and i try to be good but they beat
me any way my foster daddy hurts me and makes me do yucky things and i was bad i
dont even know what i did wrong i must be real bad he threw all my toys down the
cellar stairs and threw my dolly mary jane that mommy bought me down there in
the dark i miss my mary jane she is afraid of the dark he always throws me in
the pool and i almost drown shhh i cant let them hear my cry shhh my spelling
words are in my head he cant take them away he shoots cats dead and cuts the
heads off snakes he grabs me off the floor by my shirt he looks scary i am
scared my foster mommy says and does mean things to me she dont hug me she dont
like me she hates me she wont help me she is mad at me my foster daddy does
special things with me and not with her he says i am special i want to be
special i want to watch little house on the prairy with my foster sister but i
have to do special things to be special i am sad i dont get to watch tv i dont
cry about it i cry later shhh i have to cry real quiet shhh i have to be special
i try to do good i try hard to be special so i try not to throw up i am special
i want to be special i try hard to be special now i dont throw up anymore now i
really am special i try so hard to be good my foster daddy says i cant tell any
body how special i am because then the social workers will send me to a hospital
for crazy foster children and i will never see my mommy ever again he says no
body will believe me because every body knows that foster children are not
really special because they are dumb and crazy thats why i got bad grades and
they know he is a policeman policemans are smart my social worker likes my
foster mommy they sit at the table together and laugh she dont laugh with me she
dont like me i stare at my social worker and my brain tells me to show her my
booboos on my body i am too scared my brain says no she is not a friend she is
my foster mommys friend shhh be quiet i be quiet shhh i dont want to get in more
trouble go to a crazy hospital and never see mommy again i put a tack hole in
the shade i like the sun shines in the tiny hole my foster daddy beats me he
covers my mouth shhh dont scream shhh be quiet shhh my foster sister will hear
me scream he says not to let any body hear me scream i am scared i will never
see mommy again i scream shhh my foster mommy says its too bad mommy should have
let a family adopt me a long time ago then i wouldnt have to be a foster child
she says parents only have a foster child because they want to have a slave
parents adopt a child to love and have a baby to love she loves her own daughter
i can never be special to her i am sad shhh i will cry later its not fair why am
i a foster child and not adopted i wonder when is my foster sister going to stop
being a child and be a foster child i know my foster mommy will let her be
adopted i wish my mommy let me be adopted i wouldnt have to be a foster child i
am sad that mommy didnt adopt me my foster mommy wants me to forget that i have
a mommy she is in my head she cant take her away from me i wont let her mommy is
nice to me mommy is happy to me i love my mommy and i love my mary jane i am
good to my foster daddy i love my foster daddy he is happy to me i am special he
will make sure my foster mommy is nice to me if i am bad to my foster mommy she
will make sure my foster daddy is not happy to me i try harder to be special i
be so good but they are always mad at me she is always mean to me i'm scared my
foster sister is mean to me she is always telling on me always getting me into
trouble she told on me for bending a piece of the puzzle now my foster daddy is
mad at me again i am scared now he says i wouldnt be in so much trouble all the
time if i wouldnt lie all the time i really am sorry for bending the piece of
puzzle because it was an accident and i didnt mean it i really do try to tell
the truth all the time but now i am naked and whipped i dont scream any more i
am special my body hurts me shhh they cant know that i cry shhh quiet i cry shhh
i want to be invisible i try to be invisible i cry shhh quiet cry quiet shhh
shhh whisper
i want to go home
i want my mommy
i dont want to live here
these people are so mean to me
why is every body so mean to me
i be so nice to every body
Love Always
Little Mary
